Our youngest son is getting married today.
There are so many things a father wants to say to his son on such a significant day, and so many things he wish he had said or done over the years that he never managed to say or do because, as we all know, life can fly by in a hurry when you’re preoccupied with all the things it hurls at you. You can spend so much time trying to manage life’s details that you neglect its foundations from time to time.
Everyone does that to a degree, and I’m thankful for the parts I got right. I’m also thankful that there’s a vast future in front of us, even if it will look a bit different than years past. The foundations are still there, and I plan on building on them for a long time.
I’ve shared some advice with my son in recent days, ranging from the very practical — like “never run a 20-amp pressure washer on a 15-amp circuit” and “don’t go cheap on things that matter, like coffee, canned meat, and toilet paper” — to the kind of Solomonic wisdom that shapes a life forever.
I’ve told him that a person can remember the past and plan for the future, but you can’t experience either. You can only experience the moment. So don’t spend all your time waiting for “one day.” Enjoy the now and make the most of it.
I’ve informed him that as most people get on in years, we look back with regret for not appreciating the people in our lives as much as we should have, so to always make sure he takes time to do that — and to show them.
And I’ve reminded him that the most important thing about him or anyone else — the thing that shapes a person now and forever in profound and irrevocable ways — is his relationship with God. That above all else is worth cultivating with all the attention, diligence, and devotion a person can muster.
